35 Things at 35

Things I’ve learnt up to mid-life sleeping, living and breathing across three continents.
Note: Views are my own.

1. It is always possible to start your life again and build from scratch. Moving, packing/unpacking across countries becomes annoyingly comfortable after doing it a few times over. It takes some time, but you will learn to adapt and build a system for yourself — routines, normalcy, love, and friendships.
2. Money and health never run parallel. You cannot chase money and opportunity without sacrificing bits of your health. Take care of your health (your mind not just your body) and let go of the chase.
3. Someone you are meant to meet — you will meet many times over. Given enough time, you will in all likelihood see them again.
4. Get into a damn good school. Get out of a public school system. Go international, get into an Ivy/HYP, or a Top 10. Go not for the academia but for the networking opportunity it could present. I can’t stress this enough, but if you’re going to focus on education then go all the way. After being +1’s for clients who have gone to top schools (harvard, MIT, Stanford, and Brown) — and attending their alumni events in Hong Kong I realised very early how important it is to have a strong education.
5. Unless you have #4, the top 10–18% of VP+ roles in MNCs will not tip to your favour. In both my roles at two major bluechip companies, I’ve been fortunate to have cross paths with senior leaders and executives from EMEA/APAC/LATAM and the Americas. The education, tenure, high performance and leadership in the top 18% of the organization will be more or less equal. The differentiator in career success becomes how well you can play politics and the depth of your network.
6. Taking one more gym class in a day will not make you feel any better, or any fitter than doing the one. Focus on tempo, not speed.
7. Focus on a wide spectrum of multicultural friendships with opposing viewpoints. Having a coffee with friends (+/- 10 or 20 in age) with a different life story can be a podcast on its own.
8. What you wear to the gym really doesn’t matter when you are there to focus on yourself. No, you do not need another pair of leggings with a 2x 2cm logo sewn on the waistband.
9. True friends really don’t care what you wear.
10. Performance ratings at work are no different than a subjective grading by an English teacher.
11. Work different jobs. Change industries. Learn something new. Try it. Quit if you don’t like it. Don’t like your boss? Quit and don’t look back. I’ve quit jobs that I did not enjoy, and have not had a problem explaining it.
12. Uproot yourself now and again. Change your environment. Do hard things. Adaptation is struggle, but without struggling or a few setbacks — you can’t grow. People will screw with you along the way — and that’s okay.
13. Find yourself a network of trained health specialists regardless of where you move or settle into. Getting your health in-check is preventative not only when something comes up.
14. Meet as many people as you can in your twenties and your early thirties. It’s true that some will stay, and some will go. The memories you have with them and their voice of reason will be your north star when things go to shit.
15. Seek men (or women) outside your zone of comfort — a film director, a magician, senior correspondent, artistic choreographer, a professional athlete, and an military ex-recon agent have all somehow been on my radar. You will gain so much from these relationships- get rid of your checklist.
16. Working out at the gym is not a one-hit wonder. You don’t just decide to go in January, follow a program for 8 weeks and expect miracles. It takes consistent effort over a sustained period of time.
17. Your cardio endurance and absolute strength can improve as you age. The biggest difference I’ve seen from 35 and 25 is my recovery time. After a hard workout — It takes me 2x as long to recover. I need the sleep, water, massage, and a day of complete inactivity before I can get back to it.
18. Taking adaptogens has been a hole in my wallet but it has completely changed my day to day energy levels and I cannot go back.
19. Life is a cadence of good years and bad years. You may experience 2–3 good years only to be set back by 1 and up again. This can be said for your career, relationships, or health.
20. Dedicate time to sort out your finances, your emails, passwords, apps before it owns you.
21. Take good care of your teeth and eyes.
22. Fast fashion items go out of season fast, sit in my wardrobe, and are worn at most 4x. Focus on saving instead for quality technical apparel.
23. Buy something mediocre in quality and buy it again 2x over. Buy something of great quality and craftsmanship and you only ever have to buy it once. If you have to — travel somewhere just to get it.
24. If anyone says to you that you’re a “good fit” at work. It just means you’re replaceable.
25. At 35, I’ve noticed my skin has changed significantly since my mid and late 20s . Stick to quality skincare, collagen powder, water, and sleep.
26. The best workout is really just the one you can stick to.
27. Check to see how big your plate is before you put food on it. Plates in North America are commercially larger in size and this means YOU will be larger in size.
28. Being a stone heavier, or a stone lighter makes no difference to anyone else but yourself.
29. Focus on how you feel in energy and spirit when you get up in the morning instead of whether you kept your abs from drinks the night before.
30. My golden rule for any professional relationship where I am the client .. if you can’t put it to me in writing on b&w — — I can’t trust you. And if you send me whatsapp voice notes — i’ve already flagged you. People who can put their words behind a commercial email domain means they’re held equally accountable for the information they provide.
31. Carefully read the T&Cs to every commercial / legal document. If you can’t give me the space and the time to read — I won’t be giving you my business.
32. The most honest people I’ve met — - the ones who can tell you things as it is are usually the ones with nothing to lose.
33. Work for a big company at some point in your career. Not for the name on your CV, but for the leadership and mentorship you can acquire.
34. Being at the airport 2-3hrs before a flight is totally unnecessary and not an efficient use of your time.
35. Don’t misjudge someone providing you service because they spoke to you rudely. Cultural nuances matter —learn to adjust yourself. Slow your english. Use eye contact. Listen first.